Wishes and Whiskey

Whiskey's flowing
The lights are bright
I'm out, feeling alright
You're on my mind,
Wish you weren't
Baby no matter how hard I've tried
You've never even left.
I want it all to go away
This pain I feel
The tattoo you've drawn in me
Can never come off.
I wish you knew
Just how hard
It is to let you go.
I try and pretend it's alright
But you know better
Like you always do
That I'm much too fragile
To handle.
I miss you
But I know it's just me
You don't have to tell me twice
That I never mattered at all.
This hurts
Everything hurts
And I'm just so tired.
The pain is deep
So I take it out on myself
And I'm the only one who can hurt me now.
I know you never meant
To carve such deep scars on my heart
And I'm so sorry
I ever chose you to love.
But in the dead of the night
When it's no one but me
I wish
That you could love me too.
A fool's dream
This I know
But still I wish upon stars.
I wish there was a warmth
For the ice that flows through my veins
I wish I could just let you be a memory and
I wish you knew
Just how hard
It is to let go.
I wish you could wipe away the tears that fall
Cure the heart that hurts
And hug the body that aches.
But you never will
And I need to know now
That I'm the only one who can take care of me.
I wish I could fight for myself
Take a stand for me.
It's so sad
That not even I'm on my side.
I feel so broken
So alone
And a part of me
Still wishes that what we had was real.
I'm trying so hard
To move on and let go
But it's not as easy as it sounds.
Tonight I'll go to bed
Drunk with the realization
That I'm fighting a losing battle and that
You....will never love me the way I loved you
And all the wishes and whiskey in the world
Will never make it come to be.
I've got myself
I've got my good health
And I guess that's all I need.