There are so many things I don't understand about this world.
I do not, and will never, understand all the hatred that exists in our world. Is it just me, or are people meaner than they were years ago? Is it just more sensationalized now? Have people just found new and improved ways to be mean and hurtful to each other? Fifty years ago, it was just as commonplace to hear someone call a black person the "N word" as it is today to hear them referred to as an "African American". Nowadays, this is considered the highest form of insult. Simply saying the word evokes images of Bull Connor and his fire hoses and police dogs and George Wallace's infamous proclamation of "segregation now, segregation tomorrow, segregation forever!". In short, ignorance and fear.
Are the insults we call each other today going to be as repulsive in the future?
A teenager falls down on the football field. His teammate walks over to him. "C'mon get up, fag," he says. Teachers and parents and lawmakers are running around ripping their hair out trying to figure out why gay middle schoolers are killing themselves. Well, I wonder why. Shit.
We're letting students get away with far too much. I don't want to sit here and sound old, because I'll assure you that when I was 13 years old and my gym teacher (Mr. Weatherford!) made the rule that referring to something as "gay" was punishable by a grade deduction, I was sniggering right along with everyone else. Why would we stop doing that? We would just say it when he was out of earshot. But when I was 13, I knew nothing about the world. Like everyone in my bleach-white world, I was sheltered and naive and insensitive to the general human condition. On top of that, I was a privileged, spoiled only child who never knew a single hardship in her life. Let me give you an example: Honest to God, this is true, until I was like 14 years old, I thought that ChemLawn was a complimentary service. I thought that lawn fertilization was a free thing that everyone received. It's funny to laugh about it now, but it's also kind of sad that I (and I assure you many children like me) was that naive.
Sure, psychologists and psychotherapists and other psycho-babbling idiots will assure you that the reason children bully and name-call is because it is a projection of their own fears about themselves. In short: bullies bully because they secretly hate themselves or hate characteristics about themselves. Think Karovski picking on Kurt for being gay when he's secretly gay himself (sorry, totally couldn't resist a Glee reference). I think this is true, but I also think that kids bully because they're ignorant. As every single person who attended Center Grove will tell you, Keith Hawkins is amazing. He is a motivational speaker based out of California, but he always manages to make the trek out to Indiana every August for freshman orientation. I was a freshman ambassador, so I got to hear Keith Hawkins speak not only on my own orientation, but also my junior and senior years. Something he said to my freshman class has stuck with me all of these years: "you can't hate someone if you know their story."
Think about that for a minute. Think about something you say you hate on a regular basis. For me, Sarah Palin. My constant refrain when I see her on the TV is "God, I hate Sarah Palin." But let me put the shoe on the other foot for a minute. Here is a woman who went to five different state colleges, working every odd job to put herself through school. Despite her limited experience, she managed to get elected not only the governorship of Alaska, but the vice presidential nomination of her party. She did this all while raising five children and maintaining a happy marriage. Despite being denounced by nearly every left-leaning politician and pundit, she still comes out smelling like roses: two New York Times best-selling books, regular appearances on major news networks, and almost unanimous support from her Tea Party constituents. If not for anything, you've got to admire her for all of that. But really put yourself in her shoes. How would you like to wake up every single day to people making fun of you? People questioning everything from your intelligence to your parenting skills to your leadership capabilities? How would you like to be a running joke for late night TV? It would suck. If it were me, I'd probably spend equal parts of the day being heavily sedated and crying. You may not like Sarah Palin, but when you try to understand her story, you really can't hate her. I really don't want to give her accolades and say that I admire her, but I do admire the way that she stands up to scrutiny. In all fairness, Palin puts herself out on the roasting spit. She constantly takes to her twitter and Facebook page, and has a reality show. You can't deny that she likes to stir the shitpot, albeit just a little bit. But that's where Palin gets us again: she knows that being a shitstirrer is what's keeping her alive in the minds of Americans until the straw polls start to happen. She knows that she has to keep herself relevant somehow. Those who think Sarah Palin is not smart are rather ignorant themselves; she's a very smart person in the sense that she's self-aware.
This brings me back to "not being able to hate someone if you know their story." Like I said, kids that age are ignorant. They know nothing of the world around them, they know nothing of themselves. They AREN'T self-aware; they can't fully comprehend the consequences of their actions (as our friend Sarah can). They call each other "fag" and "queer" and "gay" because they have no idea that many years before they were even thought of, a young boy named Matthew Sheppard was hunted down like an animal, tied to a barbed wire fence, and beaten to death simply because he was gay. They make fun of a kid who is different because they have no idea that particular kid wakes up every single day and wishes he were someone, anyone else. Who cries, because he doesn't think he can take one more day of being picked on. Maybe if these kids understood what it was like to receive the punches that they so willingly dish out, they wouldn't wield their fists quite so often. Yeah, I know the "walk a mile in their shoes" euphemism isn't exactly a new concept, but it isn't utilized nearly as much as it should be.
With age comes awareness, and awareness means that we better understand our surroundings and how the world around us works. I think of awareness as being the moment that one realizes the world rotates around the sun, not themselves. I can tell you at age 22 I am far and away more sensitive to the human condition than I was at say, age 18. I used to tell people the chief reason I hated vacationing in San Francisco was because of the staggering amount of homeless people there. They literally line the streets. They line up down the block, wrapped around the building at nights trying to get a coveted spot in a shelter. 10 years ago, this disgusted me. Today, it saddens me. I want to do something about it. The difference between now and then is that I didn't care to try and understand the plight of homelessness. Now, I realize that there are those less fortunate than me, and I should be thankful for what I have and try and give back in whatever way I possibly can. This is somehow a lesson we seem to have lost along the way.
I wasn't really old enough to understand what was going on during the 1993 child molestation case of Michael Jackson. I was only slightly more knowledgeable in 2001. Today, as I read back on some of the coverage of the trials, it never fails to shock me as to the lengths the press went to to vilify Jackson. In 1993, when he entered rehab for addiction to painkillers (an addiction he says was spurred by needing an escape from the terrible things being written about him) the Daily Mirror ran a "Spot the Jacko" contest, offering a free trip to Disney World to whomever correctly guessed where he would be next. I have racked my brains and done exhaustive research, but really have found nothing that Michael Jackson did in his life that would make the press hate him so. Yes, he was accused of child abuse, but he was acquitted. Other than that, he really did nothing but try and make the world a better place. He donated millions and millions of dollars to charity, made music that was loved by the world over, and what's more, you're hard pressed to find a person who knew him that has anything bad to say about him. Everyone who personally knew him can only say that he was kind, selfless, and caring. Director of This Is It Kenny Ortega said of him, "no matter how hard the world came down on Michael, he only came back with more love." I don't want to lionize him simply because he's dead, but no matter what he did, the press always found a way to pick on Michael Jackson. He may have been the world's most bullied person. Brother Marlon tearfully said at his funeral, "maybe now, Michael, they will leave you alone."
When did we start treating each other like such shit? It has got to stop. Next time you go to make fun of someone, just don't. Because you don't know anything about them. You don't know their struggles, their unhappiness, their misery. For one thing, you're old enough to know better. For another, you haven't walked a mile in their shoes; you haven't even walked two feet. Stop and take a second and ask yourself why you're so willing to make fun of this person. Also realize that making fun of that person will do absolutely nothing for you. Maybe it'll get a laugh out of someone for a few minutes. But it doesn't enhance you in any way whatsoever. We all need to become better human beings. Starting with this.
As for middle schoolers, this is where it needs to begin. No longer can we use the excuse that "they're too young to know better." Well, if they don't know better, then they need to. It's time we start teaching them. They need to know the depth and breadth of their seemingly harmless insults. They need to start learning perspective at a younger age. They need to learn to put themselves in others' shoes. They need to know that their words are just as bad of a weapon as their fists or any other physical object. It needs to stop before it can really begin, because kids who bully with words in middle school turn into the adults that bully with their vicious, more sophisticated weapons.
It is sad beyond words that kids in this day and age feel the need to commit suicide for being different. Are we that backwards? And, where are the parents of these children who bully? Why aren't they teaching them to be nice? Why aren't they teaching them respect? Why aren't they teaching them that there's something out there that's bigger than them, and that they need to be humble and appreciate things for what they are, not point them out because they're different?
I don't really believe in New Year's resolutions, but for once, let's make one we can all keep. Let's make 2011 the year we all try and be a little bit nicer to each other. Let's quit calling each other names. Let's hold the door for someone, even if they're far away from it. Let's help someone out with something, anything. Walk your neighbor's dog, fold the laundry for your mom, let dad listen to his favorite radio station for a change. Let's think less about ourselves and more about what we can do to make our planet a better place. I'm not saying go out and buy a Toyota Prius and save the Sunday Times for the compost heap, I'm saying make the earth have a better emotional tone. There needs to be less ignorance, and more understanding. Less intolerance and more acceptance. We need to celebrate our differences, not let them divide us. America is supposed to be a great melting pot, but it seems like now more than ever, we are just a bunch of different ingredients floating around in a pot with no real cohesion. Everyone needs to try and work together a little bit more. Join hands with the person next to you. It doesn't matter if they're black or white, gay or straight, religious or not. What matters is that you're both human beings and you're alive and well and both have every right in the world to be as happy as can be. But you're not happy if you're making fun of someone, and you're certainly not happy if someone is making fun of you.
So, this year, let's put our pointing fingers down. Let's stop focusing so much on what we don't like and be thankful for the stuff we have that we do like. Let's think of our own happiness, but also think what we could do to make others happy, as well. Let's teach the younger generation about being aware and knowledgeable. Let's teach them that words indeed hurt worse than they could possibly imagine. Perhaps the most important lesson in that is punishing the kids who bully only reinforces the negativity of their actions. We need to teach them with love. Yes, we must pity the bullied, but we also need to understand why the bully acted out in the first place. We need to quit enforcing anger. Hatred is always going to exist in the world, but if we can lessen it just a little bit, then we've more than done a favor for later generations.
So this year, instead of vowing to lose weight, join the gym, or quit smoking, just pledge to make yourself a better, nicer, more loving individual. This world's gotta keep spinning on something. And it ain't gonna be hate, honey.
L-O-V-E.
I do not, and will never, understand all the hatred that exists in our world. Is it just me, or are people meaner than they were years ago? Is it just more sensationalized now? Have people just found new and improved ways to be mean and hurtful to each other? Fifty years ago, it was just as commonplace to hear someone call a black person the "N word" as it is today to hear them referred to as an "African American". Nowadays, this is considered the highest form of insult. Simply saying the word evokes images of Bull Connor and his fire hoses and police dogs and George Wallace's infamous proclamation of "segregation now, segregation tomorrow, segregation forever!". In short, ignorance and fear.
Are the insults we call each other today going to be as repulsive in the future?
A teenager falls down on the football field. His teammate walks over to him. "C'mon get up, fag," he says. Teachers and parents and lawmakers are running around ripping their hair out trying to figure out why gay middle schoolers are killing themselves. Well, I wonder why. Shit.
We're letting students get away with far too much. I don't want to sit here and sound old, because I'll assure you that when I was 13 years old and my gym teacher (Mr. Weatherford!) made the rule that referring to something as "gay" was punishable by a grade deduction, I was sniggering right along with everyone else. Why would we stop doing that? We would just say it when he was out of earshot. But when I was 13, I knew nothing about the world. Like everyone in my bleach-white world, I was sheltered and naive and insensitive to the general human condition. On top of that, I was a privileged, spoiled only child who never knew a single hardship in her life. Let me give you an example: Honest to God, this is true, until I was like 14 years old, I thought that ChemLawn was a complimentary service. I thought that lawn fertilization was a free thing that everyone received. It's funny to laugh about it now, but it's also kind of sad that I (and I assure you many children like me) was that naive.
Sure, psychologists and psychotherapists and other psycho-babbling idiots will assure you that the reason children bully and name-call is because it is a projection of their own fears about themselves. In short: bullies bully because they secretly hate themselves or hate characteristics about themselves. Think Karovski picking on Kurt for being gay when he's secretly gay himself (sorry, totally couldn't resist a Glee reference). I think this is true, but I also think that kids bully because they're ignorant. As every single person who attended Center Grove will tell you, Keith Hawkins is amazing. He is a motivational speaker based out of California, but he always manages to make the trek out to Indiana every August for freshman orientation. I was a freshman ambassador, so I got to hear Keith Hawkins speak not only on my own orientation, but also my junior and senior years. Something he said to my freshman class has stuck with me all of these years: "you can't hate someone if you know their story."
Think about that for a minute. Think about something you say you hate on a regular basis. For me, Sarah Palin. My constant refrain when I see her on the TV is "God, I hate Sarah Palin." But let me put the shoe on the other foot for a minute. Here is a woman who went to five different state colleges, working every odd job to put herself through school. Despite her limited experience, she managed to get elected not only the governorship of Alaska, but the vice presidential nomination of her party. She did this all while raising five children and maintaining a happy marriage. Despite being denounced by nearly every left-leaning politician and pundit, she still comes out smelling like roses: two New York Times best-selling books, regular appearances on major news networks, and almost unanimous support from her Tea Party constituents. If not for anything, you've got to admire her for all of that. But really put yourself in her shoes. How would you like to wake up every single day to people making fun of you? People questioning everything from your intelligence to your parenting skills to your leadership capabilities? How would you like to be a running joke for late night TV? It would suck. If it were me, I'd probably spend equal parts of the day being heavily sedated and crying. You may not like Sarah Palin, but when you try to understand her story, you really can't hate her. I really don't want to give her accolades and say that I admire her, but I do admire the way that she stands up to scrutiny. In all fairness, Palin puts herself out on the roasting spit. She constantly takes to her twitter and Facebook page, and has a reality show. You can't deny that she likes to stir the shitpot, albeit just a little bit. But that's where Palin gets us again: she knows that being a shitstirrer is what's keeping her alive in the minds of Americans until the straw polls start to happen. She knows that she has to keep herself relevant somehow. Those who think Sarah Palin is not smart are rather ignorant themselves; she's a very smart person in the sense that she's self-aware.
This brings me back to "not being able to hate someone if you know their story." Like I said, kids that age are ignorant. They know nothing of the world around them, they know nothing of themselves. They AREN'T self-aware; they can't fully comprehend the consequences of their actions (as our friend Sarah can). They call each other "fag" and "queer" and "gay" because they have no idea that many years before they were even thought of, a young boy named Matthew Sheppard was hunted down like an animal, tied to a barbed wire fence, and beaten to death simply because he was gay. They make fun of a kid who is different because they have no idea that particular kid wakes up every single day and wishes he were someone, anyone else. Who cries, because he doesn't think he can take one more day of being picked on. Maybe if these kids understood what it was like to receive the punches that they so willingly dish out, they wouldn't wield their fists quite so often. Yeah, I know the "walk a mile in their shoes" euphemism isn't exactly a new concept, but it isn't utilized nearly as much as it should be.
With age comes awareness, and awareness means that we better understand our surroundings and how the world around us works. I think of awareness as being the moment that one realizes the world rotates around the sun, not themselves. I can tell you at age 22 I am far and away more sensitive to the human condition than I was at say, age 18. I used to tell people the chief reason I hated vacationing in San Francisco was because of the staggering amount of homeless people there. They literally line the streets. They line up down the block, wrapped around the building at nights trying to get a coveted spot in a shelter. 10 years ago, this disgusted me. Today, it saddens me. I want to do something about it. The difference between now and then is that I didn't care to try and understand the plight of homelessness. Now, I realize that there are those less fortunate than me, and I should be thankful for what I have and try and give back in whatever way I possibly can. This is somehow a lesson we seem to have lost along the way.
I wasn't really old enough to understand what was going on during the 1993 child molestation case of Michael Jackson. I was only slightly more knowledgeable in 2001. Today, as I read back on some of the coverage of the trials, it never fails to shock me as to the lengths the press went to to vilify Jackson. In 1993, when he entered rehab for addiction to painkillers (an addiction he says was spurred by needing an escape from the terrible things being written about him) the Daily Mirror ran a "Spot the Jacko" contest, offering a free trip to Disney World to whomever correctly guessed where he would be next. I have racked my brains and done exhaustive research, but really have found nothing that Michael Jackson did in his life that would make the press hate him so. Yes, he was accused of child abuse, but he was acquitted. Other than that, he really did nothing but try and make the world a better place. He donated millions and millions of dollars to charity, made music that was loved by the world over, and what's more, you're hard pressed to find a person who knew him that has anything bad to say about him. Everyone who personally knew him can only say that he was kind, selfless, and caring. Director of This Is It Kenny Ortega said of him, "no matter how hard the world came down on Michael, he only came back with more love." I don't want to lionize him simply because he's dead, but no matter what he did, the press always found a way to pick on Michael Jackson. He may have been the world's most bullied person. Brother Marlon tearfully said at his funeral, "maybe now, Michael, they will leave you alone."
When did we start treating each other like such shit? It has got to stop. Next time you go to make fun of someone, just don't. Because you don't know anything about them. You don't know their struggles, their unhappiness, their misery. For one thing, you're old enough to know better. For another, you haven't walked a mile in their shoes; you haven't even walked two feet. Stop and take a second and ask yourself why you're so willing to make fun of this person. Also realize that making fun of that person will do absolutely nothing for you. Maybe it'll get a laugh out of someone for a few minutes. But it doesn't enhance you in any way whatsoever. We all need to become better human beings. Starting with this.
As for middle schoolers, this is where it needs to begin. No longer can we use the excuse that "they're too young to know better." Well, if they don't know better, then they need to. It's time we start teaching them. They need to know the depth and breadth of their seemingly harmless insults. They need to start learning perspective at a younger age. They need to learn to put themselves in others' shoes. They need to know that their words are just as bad of a weapon as their fists or any other physical object. It needs to stop before it can really begin, because kids who bully with words in middle school turn into the adults that bully with their vicious, more sophisticated weapons.
It is sad beyond words that kids in this day and age feel the need to commit suicide for being different. Are we that backwards? And, where are the parents of these children who bully? Why aren't they teaching them to be nice? Why aren't they teaching them respect? Why aren't they teaching them that there's something out there that's bigger than them, and that they need to be humble and appreciate things for what they are, not point them out because they're different?
I don't really believe in New Year's resolutions, but for once, let's make one we can all keep. Let's make 2011 the year we all try and be a little bit nicer to each other. Let's quit calling each other names. Let's hold the door for someone, even if they're far away from it. Let's help someone out with something, anything. Walk your neighbor's dog, fold the laundry for your mom, let dad listen to his favorite radio station for a change. Let's think less about ourselves and more about what we can do to make our planet a better place. I'm not saying go out and buy a Toyota Prius and save the Sunday Times for the compost heap, I'm saying make the earth have a better emotional tone. There needs to be less ignorance, and more understanding. Less intolerance and more acceptance. We need to celebrate our differences, not let them divide us. America is supposed to be a great melting pot, but it seems like now more than ever, we are just a bunch of different ingredients floating around in a pot with no real cohesion. Everyone needs to try and work together a little bit more. Join hands with the person next to you. It doesn't matter if they're black or white, gay or straight, religious or not. What matters is that you're both human beings and you're alive and well and both have every right in the world to be as happy as can be. But you're not happy if you're making fun of someone, and you're certainly not happy if someone is making fun of you.
So, this year, let's put our pointing fingers down. Let's stop focusing so much on what we don't like and be thankful for the stuff we have that we do like. Let's think of our own happiness, but also think what we could do to make others happy, as well. Let's teach the younger generation about being aware and knowledgeable. Let's teach them that words indeed hurt worse than they could possibly imagine. Perhaps the most important lesson in that is punishing the kids who bully only reinforces the negativity of their actions. We need to teach them with love. Yes, we must pity the bullied, but we also need to understand why the bully acted out in the first place. We need to quit enforcing anger. Hatred is always going to exist in the world, but if we can lessen it just a little bit, then we've more than done a favor for later generations.
So this year, instead of vowing to lose weight, join the gym, or quit smoking, just pledge to make yourself a better, nicer, more loving individual. This world's gotta keep spinning on something. And it ain't gonna be hate, honey.
L-O-V-E.
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