How is it that one song can take you back so rapidly? Just those first few bars of a few certain songs and I'm lost in my memories. I'm taken back to a time when things were so much simpler in my life.
When I didn't have to worry about college, or going to class, or drinking too much or not sleeping enough. When my heart was new and whole and pieces of it hadn't been chipped off and given away to people who didn't deserve them. When my biggest concern in life was what color my prom dress was going to be or what I was going to do on Friday night with my friends.
I'm taken back to that summer. The summer of 2006- when everything changed. They say that there is a turning point in everyone's life; for me change was marked by the summers. When the breezes turn into warm air and you trade your rain boots in for flip-flops. That's when milestones in my life occurred; during the summers. That's when I made friendships and lost them, got my first job, learned to drive, lost my innocence, and met him.
It doesn't matter where i am, what I'm doing, every time I hear those songs, I close my eyes, and suddenly I'm back there.
In the passenger seat of his truck, flying down a bumpy country road. Screaming with laughter, the radio turned up so loudly that we could barely hear ourselves think. Not a care in the world. We were too young to care about anything but living in the moment; too naive to realize that it would never last. He held out his hand and in it I placed my heart.
I'm in that apartment, sitting on the musty old couch, snuggled up against his chest and inhaling his wonderful smell.
I'm in a greasy vinyl booth at the Waffle House at 1 am, giggling because I'm out so late. Snarfing down bacon and waffles, holding his hand under the table.
I'm at Starbucks, sipping hot coffee in the dead of summer, laughing with people I can no longer call my friends.
We're sitting in my driveway, holding each other and sobbing, because he was leaving at the end of the summer. A military man, off to bootcamp. We were that classic small-town couple.
Even though we couldn't be together even if I wanted to, there are times when I ache for that summer. Everything was perfect, or so it seemed. Day after day of endless sunshine; we couldn't get enough of each other. We went to movies, restaurants, parks, every place imaginable. We would spend all day wrapped up between the sheets in each other's arms. It was pure bliss.
All I have to do is see a certain place, be on a certain road, have a certain breeze blow the hair off my shoulder, and I'm back there.
But what takes me back the most is the music. Although they say smell is the strongest sense attached to memory, for me, it's the country songs.
Six Pack Summer- Phil Vassar
Mud On the Tires- Brad Paisley
Baby Girl-Sugarland
Last Day of My Life- Phil Vassar
Summertime- Kenny Chesney
Everytime I Hear Your Name-Keith Anderson
One Boy, One Girl-Collin Raye
Amazed- Lonestar
8th Of November - Big & Rich
A Good Man - Emerson Drive
Brand New Girlfriend - Steve Holy
Bring It On Home - Little Big Town
Building Bridges - Brooks & Dunn
Give It Away - George Strait
Life Ain't Always Beautiful - Gary Allan
Life Is A Highway - Rascal Flatts
Love You - Jack Ingram
My Wish - Rascal Flatts
She's Everything - Brad Paisley
Sunshine And Summertime - Faith Hill
Two Pink Lines - Eric Church
What Hurts The Most - Rascal Flatts
Amarillo Sky-Jason Aldean
Who Says You Can't Go Home - Bon Jovi (w/ Jennifer Nettles)
Would You Go With Me - Josh Turner
Your Man - Josh Turner
You Save Me - Kenny Chesney
I'm Already There-Lonestar
The only one that's really hard to hear is "Everytime I Hear Your Name". It's the song that was playing when he asked me to be his forever. "One Boy, One Girl" was what was playing the first time he told me he loved me. "Amarillo Sky" was what was playing when he gave me my ring. It's also what was playing from my best memory of being with him. "Amazed" was what was playing the first time we kissed. "I'm Already There" was what was playing when I found out he was going to the Marines.
So much has changed, and so much is still changing. Will I ever talk to him again? Probably not anytime soon. I look back on that time with fond memories, even though the relationship was doomed. I'll meet him someday, when I'm happy with someone else, and so is he. Even though he made me cry more than smile, I want him to be happy. I want someone to make him happy. I want him to get married and have a family and be successful, just like I want for myself. I want him to love and be loved with all of his heart.
I want him to always remember that young, naive little seventeen-year-old girl who gave him her heart so many years ago. I want him to remember the bittersweet taste of that first love, and the agony when it had to end. I want him to remember starry summer nights, holding hands, never possibly having the thought that one day we would have to let go. I want him to remember that ring on my finger, gas station trips, driving around, telling each other secrets and dreams, and the beautiful bliss of living in the moment. I want him to remember the first time he told me his name, the first time he told me he loved me, the first time he told me goodbye. I want him to remember laying on tennis courts, carving our names on a tree, sitting in my driveway, going to the fair, sitting around a bonfire, driving out to a friend's property.
But most of all, I want him to remember that no matter what happens between us, I'll never forget the things that we taught each other; the way he made me feel. I'll never forget that perfect summer.
You've got to listen to those songs, gather their meaning. Because before you can blink your eyes, they're over.
When I didn't have to worry about college, or going to class, or drinking too much or not sleeping enough. When my heart was new and whole and pieces of it hadn't been chipped off and given away to people who didn't deserve them. When my biggest concern in life was what color my prom dress was going to be or what I was going to do on Friday night with my friends.
I'm taken back to that summer. The summer of 2006- when everything changed. They say that there is a turning point in everyone's life; for me change was marked by the summers. When the breezes turn into warm air and you trade your rain boots in for flip-flops. That's when milestones in my life occurred; during the summers. That's when I made friendships and lost them, got my first job, learned to drive, lost my innocence, and met him.
It doesn't matter where i am, what I'm doing, every time I hear those songs, I close my eyes, and suddenly I'm back there.
In the passenger seat of his truck, flying down a bumpy country road. Screaming with laughter, the radio turned up so loudly that we could barely hear ourselves think. Not a care in the world. We were too young to care about anything but living in the moment; too naive to realize that it would never last. He held out his hand and in it I placed my heart.
I'm in that apartment, sitting on the musty old couch, snuggled up against his chest and inhaling his wonderful smell.
I'm in a greasy vinyl booth at the Waffle House at 1 am, giggling because I'm out so late. Snarfing down bacon and waffles, holding his hand under the table.
I'm at Starbucks, sipping hot coffee in the dead of summer, laughing with people I can no longer call my friends.
We're sitting in my driveway, holding each other and sobbing, because he was leaving at the end of the summer. A military man, off to bootcamp. We were that classic small-town couple.
Even though we couldn't be together even if I wanted to, there are times when I ache for that summer. Everything was perfect, or so it seemed. Day after day of endless sunshine; we couldn't get enough of each other. We went to movies, restaurants, parks, every place imaginable. We would spend all day wrapped up between the sheets in each other's arms. It was pure bliss.
All I have to do is see a certain place, be on a certain road, have a certain breeze blow the hair off my shoulder, and I'm back there.
But what takes me back the most is the music. Although they say smell is the strongest sense attached to memory, for me, it's the country songs.
Six Pack Summer- Phil Vassar
Mud On the Tires- Brad Paisley
Baby Girl-Sugarland
Last Day of My Life- Phil Vassar
Summertime- Kenny Chesney
Everytime I Hear Your Name-Keith Anderson
One Boy, One Girl-Collin Raye
Amazed- Lonestar
8th Of November - Big & Rich
A Good Man - Emerson Drive
Brand New Girlfriend - Steve Holy
Bring It On Home - Little Big Town
Building Bridges - Brooks & Dunn
Give It Away - George Strait
Life Ain't Always Beautiful - Gary Allan
Life Is A Highway - Rascal Flatts
Love You - Jack Ingram
My Wish - Rascal Flatts
She's Everything - Brad Paisley
Sunshine And Summertime - Faith Hill
Two Pink Lines - Eric Church
What Hurts The Most - Rascal Flatts
Amarillo Sky-Jason Aldean
Who Says You Can't Go Home - Bon Jovi (w/ Jennifer Nettles)
Would You Go With Me - Josh Turner
Your Man - Josh Turner
You Save Me - Kenny Chesney
I'm Already There-Lonestar
The only one that's really hard to hear is "Everytime I Hear Your Name". It's the song that was playing when he asked me to be his forever. "One Boy, One Girl" was what was playing the first time he told me he loved me. "Amarillo Sky" was what was playing when he gave me my ring. It's also what was playing from my best memory of being with him. "Amazed" was what was playing the first time we kissed. "I'm Already There" was what was playing when I found out he was going to the Marines.
So much has changed, and so much is still changing. Will I ever talk to him again? Probably not anytime soon. I look back on that time with fond memories, even though the relationship was doomed. I'll meet him someday, when I'm happy with someone else, and so is he. Even though he made me cry more than smile, I want him to be happy. I want someone to make him happy. I want him to get married and have a family and be successful, just like I want for myself. I want him to love and be loved with all of his heart.
I want him to always remember that young, naive little seventeen-year-old girl who gave him her heart so many years ago. I want him to remember the bittersweet taste of that first love, and the agony when it had to end. I want him to remember starry summer nights, holding hands, never possibly having the thought that one day we would have to let go. I want him to remember that ring on my finger, gas station trips, driving around, telling each other secrets and dreams, and the beautiful bliss of living in the moment. I want him to remember the first time he told me his name, the first time he told me he loved me, the first time he told me goodbye. I want him to remember laying on tennis courts, carving our names on a tree, sitting in my driveway, going to the fair, sitting around a bonfire, driving out to a friend's property.
But most of all, I want him to remember that no matter what happens between us, I'll never forget the things that we taught each other; the way he made me feel. I'll never forget that perfect summer.
You've got to listen to those songs, gather their meaning. Because before you can blink your eyes, they're over.
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