Trick or Treat?

 Sometimes I think it would be cool to have the ability to levitate things with my mind. It would be super useful, in addition to being super awesome. I'd never have to worry about changing a tire, vacuuming would be easy, and I'd never have to strain my muscles to lift heavy things.

 If only we could make things possible by wishing them into existence.

Sometimes I wonder if I made it all up in my head. I wonder if the casual touches, the conversation that flows easily as water, the gazes...was that all never there? I can't be that insane. Sometimes I just want to run up to him like a crazy person and smell his wonderful smell and hug him tightly. But that would be no bueno. Also, I'm sure his GIRLFRIEND wouldn't appreciate it.

I always fall for the unavailable. The unattainable, the tied-down, the not-interested. But this time it's different.

What if someone knew the biggest secret of your life? I feel drawn to him because he does know. He comforted me in my time of need; that means a lot to me. I can't really describe it, because when I do, I feel like an idiot. A stupid, stupid little girl who has a crush, like I'm going to go pick him a bouquet of dandelions off of the playground, then ask him to push me on the swings. Which kind of sounds like fun, now that I mention it.

I don't know, I usually just go for things in life. I just generally grab guys by the balls and demand what I want. But this time is different, I think. This one is special. Maybe I'll just take my time and see where it leads me.

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But I don't know, what to do? I'm so impatient in matters of the heart. Maybe it's the fact that EVERYONE around me is engaged, shacked up or otherwise tied down. Maybe I'm such a husk of a human being that I can't stay interested in anyone long enough for them to garner an interest back in me. And believe me, it's depressing as fuck that he's already spoken for. Guys like him just don't up and dump perfectly good relationships, especially not for girls like me. He isn't Matthew McConaughey and life isn't a romantic comedy. It's not the Wedding Planner. Hey, at least my name is Jennifer!

I'm going to bed now. The real world is much more blah than the fantasies that play out in my head. Wake me up when it's Sunday, and I get to pretend, just for a few hours, that he could actually be mine.